The Zen of Taking Control of Your Body (aka, How Not to Lose Your Kids)
I was at Family Court last week. It’s a series of small rooms and only slightly-less-small courtrooms, where the lives of children and their parents are decided on a minute-by-minute basis.
If the wrong decision is made, a child could end up with a neglectful or abusive parent, and an otherwise great parent might only get to see their child for 2-3 days per month.
If you were in danger of losing custody and/or visitation rights of your children, what do you think you’d do? Do you think you might figure out everything you need to know and do in order to increase your likelihood of keeping your kids?
That’s what I think I would do.
But it’s not what usually happens.
How Family Court Taught Me to Cheat Less on My Diet
A majority of the time, one or both parents are woefully unprepared and often don’t even show up to court hearings.
Now let me throw out the obligatory caveat that these men and women are generally poor, under-educated, and often don’t speak much English. I have no conception of how much tougher those circumstances must make it, so I’m not claiming to understand what they’re going through. They need and deserve more help than they get.
However, their mindset is the saddest and most detrimental part.
Quite often, these parents simply hope that things will work themselves out and avoid taking responsibility at all costs. Here are two examples:
1. One woman, trying to get custody of her daughter back, needed to know the address of her ex-husband so that she could serve papers on him. She knew his address as of 3 months ago, knew his girlfriend’s address, and knew that her own daughter went to visit him weekly. And yet, she told the judge that she had no idea of her ex-husband’s address because he hadn’t told her. As if that’s the only way she could possibly find out.
2. Another man missed his court hearing, which probably means that his case will get dismissed. He showed up several hours later, angry that they couldn’t just hold the hearing at that time, since the court hearing – scheduled almost 3 months in advance – conflicted with his work schedule.
These are difficult situations. But time and again, the recurring theme is that their fate is completely out of their hands. The universe is out to get them.
You Create Your Own Reality
For much of my life, I’ve also been guilty of not taking complete responsibility for the things that happen to me.
I also thought that I was naturally fat for most of my life. As a kid, I didn’t have any conception that it was something I could change at any time.
But the mind is an amazing contraption. Your brain literally creates your reality.
It’s true – if you expect that the universe is going to screw you, then that’s what you’ll notice and experience. On the other hand, if you expect that the universe is going to reward and enrich you, then that’s what you’ll notice and take advantage of.
It took me a very long time to really believe this.
Likewise, Your Body and Your Health are Your Choice.
Your body and your health are completely up to you.
People with no legs have completed Iron Man triathlons. Just think about that.
Although they could have noticed the universe dumping on them, they chose to notice the opportunities that they had, rather than the disadvantages that could have stopped them.
This is not some fluffy, new-age gibberish. I know, because I’ve been there in that mindset for most of my life, and it’s only recently that I’ve started to shift everything about my life.
You MUST take complete control of and responsibility for your diet and your body. It’s the only body you will ever have.
Being healthy is not just about looking a little better and being at less risk of getting sick.
It’s about feeling comfortable with yourself. About being able to genuinely connect with other people, because you’re not worried what they’ll think about you.
It’s about taking life by the horns and living the best, most energetic life you can. Settling for anything less is an act of weakness. And you are not weak.
Warning! Getting Excited or Motivated is Not Enough
It’s an excellent first step. You should be excited right now.
But you need to commit every single morning to creating the healthiest body possible. Not just a little bit healthy or a little bit lean. The best body possible.
Your brain doesn’t understand mediocre. It doesn’t know what it takes to be mediocre. But your brain understands being the best. Our brains intuitively know what that means and what it will take.
And what it takes is a heck of a lot of work. Every single day.
- It’s meal-planning at night so that you don’t have to decide what to eat in the heat of the moment, when you’re tired or hungry.
- It’s never buying anything at the store that you know you’ll binge on at home.
- It’s about eating the same foods day after day after day because, although you’d prefer variety, you know that routine is powerful.
- It’s about going to lift weights even when it’s storming outside, because it’s the day that you go, and you never miss a day.
- It’s about waking up every single morning and writing down your commitment, because that makes it more real for your brain.
Don’t Lose Your Kids
I hope that if you are ever in danger of losing your kids, you’ll prepare and do whatever it takes to keep them. I hope that I will.
Right now, I’m doing whatever it takes to be the absolute best at the things I do. One of those things is educating, motivating, and helping people who are trying to change their bodies.
I’ve changed my own body, and it’s changed my entire life, so I know how powerful that change can be.
If You Agree, Here is Step #1: In the Comments Below, write down what you’re committed to being great at, whether it’s your body/health or anything else.
You can read this article, enjoy it, and feel a little better about yourself, but if you’re not willing to make this simple verbal commitment, then are you really sure you’re committed to your goals?